oh, this silence without you

change is the only permanent thing in our lives. the one who's afraid of change is probably afraid of loss. if one is aware that everything is as it's supossed to be, no change will scare him, because he will understand that it's just the way it goes. and once we accept that fact, we also see things and people differently. we no longer are afraid of losing someone. therefore we have to understand that by changing we always atract those people that are in the same state as we are, we are in harmony, with same vibration.

the hardest thing is to really understand that with your heart. we all can talk about things, situations and people until we are actually inside that situation. for me this is the real test if you truly understand what that means.
and as for me, i know it's damn hard for someone who had just for instance broke up with his partner to understand that he or she has to let go, cause it has come the time when one has learned what he came into this relationship to learn and has to move on. and when you cry in the pillow at night, how on earth can you think about letting go, when all you feel is pain and sadness.

i guess that means that the person is not mature enough to reach that level, or is it because right at this point that exact situation gave him the oportunity to learn about changing, unconditional love and acceptance.

whatever it is...i'm learning.

i'm in food mood

i've been watching some scary movies this weekend. and i don't mean scary because of the vampires and killers and imaginary killer dolls..but because of the real killer machines called food industry. i found my food disgusting that day and didn't really have any apetite.

but i have to eat eventually right, because of that kind of movies i get worried what to eat and where to buy food. in a way i'm luck not living in USA, cause Europe is at least for now little kinder to it's consuming population, but nobody can guarantie us, that in a couple of years our crops won't be owned by Monsanto or some other Monsanto-like corporation. nobody can guarantie me, that the chicken i'll buy will not be grown in closed tube-like house without windows where thatpoor chicken will never see a sun ray. not that it matters to the chicken whether it sees the sun or not...but it's natural.

i don't know what to think about my future, how to prevent my food to be genetically modified or my meat to contain bacterias or antibiotics or i don't know what kind of wierd unnatural stuff, without me being aware of it and being able at least to have a choice. i am willing to pay more for the food that is less 'contaminated' that's my choice. but it is totally absurd that the more the food is modified, cheaper it is! i don't want an apple that will make me sick with some virus or bacteria, even if it costs one third of an bio apple.

i'm not sure what my post is going to be about. but i felt the urge to say something, not just because i haven't done so in a quite some time now, but also because i want to move forward and somehow i've always done it with the help of writting my thoughts down on a paper or a blank page on the computer. anyways i've read that e-paper is coming and it's gona be cheaper than oldschool paper so i guess in two years or so i'll be literally able to say that i'm writting my thoughts down on the computer, cause at the moment i'm not writting but typing them. so...what is on my mind you wanna know? well, if you don't i certainly do. many things, many things. yesterday my father asked me a simple question. he asked me what i wanna do in my life and that everyone has a mission, a purpose..what is mine. he tried to convince me that everyone's purpose should be to make a big family, but i didn't agree. but than i started to think WHAT is my purpose then, what i wanna do in my life for real? i've heard so many stories from people i know, from people i don't know about how a person is happy if his job is something that he loves to do. and here i kind of stopped. because i don't think that all...i mean i love my job, i wouldn't change it but i somehow feel that maybe this is something i don't want to do my whole life.

this may sound little strange as i've already had some friends looking at me wierd, but i want to help people find themselves, i want to tell them life is the only thing they've got and they have to live it here and now. i don't know what qualifies a person to give advice about that sort of stuff, but i think if i with my positive energy feel that i have something to give to others and i want to give it..that is a great start and i'm fully qualified to act. i'm usually not a person that goes around giving 'smart' advices to people if they don't ask me for it, but i know a lot of people likes to be around me, cause i always try to be positive and even when i'm not, i'm aware that being depressed and without energy is not exactly something to hold on to, but it's better to try to solve the situation and get out of it as soon as possible.
so, i'm receving these emails from various people that succeded in their life by living according to certain methods, ideas, philosophy. but they all come together at one point...your thoughts are what you are, consequently if you think bad, pesimistic and sad thoughts that is how you are projected on the outside and of course on the contrary nice, optimistic and happy thoughts result positive people. of course it is impossible always to be high on life as i say, but the important part is to recognize your true self and expand it to the fullest potential possible.

so, these are my dreams..and dreams are there to be dreamt and to sometimes come true. but it's better to have a dream that maybe doesn't come true than to not have anything to dream about.

what is little L...

To experience love, we must go inside. When you experience real love you get into a state which is beyond words. You are filled with a joy that goes beyond all emotions. True love is the love of the inner Self. - Swami Muktananda

soleeeee mio

i'm back from London. and the first thing that i realised whilst my journey is that i need sun and sea and mediterrain. it's where i wanna go and where i feel the best. i got this crazy idea in my head that i will buy a small land somewhere down there by the seaside and maybe one day build a mini wekend house. that would be really great!

and the summer is coming, i'm feeling it now that i'm back, because there in London the weather is nothing but pleasant i must say. i guess it's just not my thing. i was always more of a sunny and warm person.

pasta, mare, sole...to je to! =)

circles of life

as every year for the past few years, i'm travelling again. it's a thing that i must do at least once per year. and it doesn't matter how far it is, as long as it's over the borders of my country. not that i don't like my country.. i love it! but we have to migrate in order to grow, to develop, see the world. i need it and i'm happy that i can afford it, so far so good.

this time i'm of to London. i know, i know... how come i've never been there? well, i haven't..i've had other interests, but this time, Bojana is living there so i have the perfect chance to visit her and Jure and experience London for 10 days. and this time i'm travelling with Aleš. that's gonna be an interesting experience. i've never traveled with a boyfriend before, only my friends. and i think it's great that we're going together, cause i kind of got used to having him around and i wanna see if being together 24/7 for 10 days will bring us a new dimension in our relationship.

just a couple of moments ago i had an intersting conversation with my dad. i'm not sure, but it was one of our best talks in years. we actually did not end arguing and screaming over each other. i'm still in shock!=)

anyways, i have some packing to do...tata!

dor que mim ensina

năo sei porque, mas cada vez que eu me ouço lingua portuguesa ou um som brasileiro...mim faz feliz ou melhore pelo menos. pode ser que o vibraçăo do essa lingua ou esse povo ta magica...

tou sentido muito mal por caso da minha costa. mim ta doendo tanto e eu năo posso fazer nada. nem dormir, sentar, andar...se eu năo uso medicina é todo sem nenhum efeito. so musica brasileira ta mim melhorando o minha situaçăo.

i know i should try to ignore the pain and think happy thoughts, but with all this pain it's hard. it's bringging me down. i hope it gets better soon, cause we're supossed to have roda for Simon's birthday party! viva a musica!