i'm in front of a serious decision in my life. don't know what to do, how to react. but i need to do something for my own sake. i'm thinking.. am i just holding desperately to something that has already passed, or is it worth taking so much time in order to recieve a blessing on the end. but nobody knows the future and we have to live up for the moment right? at least that's what i'm always saying. and waiting for something to happen is certainly not a productive spending of moments. ah, to hell with everything... i'm fucked up again!
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