so...here iam, the newly born educated, graduated intelectual.... and where's all the fireworks and ethusiasm?!? long gone...died the next day... okay, i admit it does feel damn nice when i can sign myself as graduated landscape architect...but as it seems therewill be no opportunity to do so for a while obviously. what am i talking about? about my so called job, which i thought i had. it looks like, life has prepared a new ride for me to go on to. having no idea where it will take me and having no guarantee if i'll make it out alive and with no wounds.
but as i always say...in this life of mine i wanna be the creator so i'll fight and create no matter what it will take me. there is no safety line that i can hold on to so all i can do is to feel confident, take one step at the time and not lose faith and will. as one great mind said...great mindz discuss ideas, average mindz discuss events, poor mindz discuss people..so, let's discuss some ideas and move forward.
cause all we have is here and now, the past is already gone we can not change it, but we can make our future. today i am gratefull.
i am gratefull for having this really special person in my life. she has given me so much, probably not even knowing and i know i still have a lot tolearn from her. she is what i never thought i'll have..my spiritual teacher. so today i thank the universe for sending her in my life to give me strength and guidance.
to give is to recieve...
i've never believed that simple breathing excercise could change my life, but it did. well, not changed it drastically, but it does have an effect over persons mind and general state of health i think. but when you look at it a little deeper, it is logical...breathing is the esential movement of our being. if you cut away everything, every thought that comes to your mind, every feeling that's inside you, every physical condition be it bad or good...what's left is your breathing. that's the essential you. and by going to that place, you are present in the moment.
i understand why a lot of people reccomend trying to get in the present moment, because only there it is what it is, everything else is meere ilusion of something that has already been or is yet to come...and there is absolutely no possible way of how you can change that. the only truth is here and now. i know, i know...you've heard it million times...but did you really get it!?i think one of the most important things that i've learned in past few years is that in my life I myself am the creator of my life and not a victim of different situations. by knowing that i no longer suffer because i feel helpless and fragile, but i try to find the path that will lead me on, and teach me a lesson from past situations. why waste time in crying over the good and bad times that are already gone, rather than that i create new situations and evolve. it is simple, we just don't believe it's that simple so we don't see it that way. breathe...
change is the only permanent thing in our lives. the one who's afraid of change is probably afraid of loss. if one is aware that everything is as it's supossed to be, no change will scare him, because he will understand that it's just the way it goes. and once we accept that fact, we also see things and people differently. we no longer are afraid of losing someone. therefore we have to understand that by changing we always atract those people that are in the same state as we are, we are in harmony, with same vibration.
the hardest thing is to really understand that with your heart. we all can talk about things, situations and people until we are actually inside that situation. for me this is the real test if you truly understand what that means.
and as for me, i know it's damn hard for someone who had just for instance broke up with his partner to understand that he or she has to let go, cause it has come the time when one has learned what he came into this relationship to learn and has to move on. and when you cry in the pillow at night, how on earth can you think about letting go, when all you feel is pain and sadness.
i guess that means that the person is not mature enough to reach that level, or is it because right at this point that exact situation gave him the oportunity to learn about changing, unconditional love and acceptance.
whatever it is...i'm learning.
i'm not sure what my post is going to be about. but i felt the urge to say something, not just because i haven't done so in a quite some time now, but also because i want to move forward and somehow i've always done it with the help of writting my thoughts down on a paper or a blank page on the computer. anyways i've read that e-paper is coming and it's gona be cheaper than oldschool paper so i guess in two years or so i'll be literally able to say that i'm writting my thoughts down on the computer, cause at the moment i'm not writting but typing them. so...what is on my mind you wanna know? well, if you don't i certainly do. many things, many things. yesterday my father asked me a simple question. he asked me what i wanna do in my life and that everyone has a mission, a purpose..what is mine. he tried to convince me that everyone's purpose should be to make a big family, but i didn't agree. but than i started to think WHAT is my purpose then, what i wanna do in my life for real? i've heard so many stories from people i know, from people i don't know about how a person is happy if his job is something that he loves to do. and here i kind of stopped. because i don't think that all...i mean i love my job, i wouldn't change it but i somehow feel that maybe this is something i don't want to do my whole life. this may sound little strange as i've already had some friends looking at me wierd, but i want to help people find themselves, i want to tell them life is the only thing they've got and they have to live it here and now. i don't know what qualifies a person to give advice about that sort of stuff, but i think if i with my positive energy feel that i have something to give to others and i want to give it..that is a great start and i'm fully qualified to act. i'm usually not a person that goes around giving 'smart' advices to people if they don't ask me for it, but i know a lot of people likes to be around me, cause i always try to be positive and even when i'm not, i'm aware that being depressed and without energy is not exactly something to hold on to, but it's better to try to solve the situation and get out of it as soon as possible.
so, i'm receving these emails from various people that succeded in their life by living according to certain methods, ideas, philosophy. but they all come together at one point...your thoughts are what you are, consequently if you think bad, pesimistic and sad thoughts that is how you are projected on the outside and of course on the contrary nice, optimistic and happy thoughts result positive people. of course it is impossible always to be high on life as i say, but the important part is to recognize your true self and expand it to the fullest potential possible.
so, these are my dreams..and dreams are there to be dreamt and to sometimes come true. but it's better to have a dream that maybe doesn't come true than to not have anything to dream about.
To experience love, we must go inside. When you experience real love you get into a state which is beyond words. You are filled with a joy that goes beyond all emotions. True love is the love of the inner Self. - Swami Muktananda
i'm back from London. and the first thing that i realised whilst my journey is that i need sun and sea and mediterrain. it's where i wanna go and where i feel the best. i got this crazy idea in my head that i will buy a small land somewhere down there by the seaside and maybe one day build a mini wekend house. that would be really great! and the summer is coming, i'm feeling it now that i'm back, because there in London the weather is nothing but pleasant i must say. i guess it's just not my thing. i was always more of a sunny and warm person.pasta, mare, sole...to je to! =)
