Saturday, 28 June 2008

you know what i realised...that we are truly obsessed with capoeira. and there is almost no chance NOT to be, cause if you're not really into it, than you don't do it. and how did i come to this conclusion? simple... we were having a party for Natasa's and Ana's birthday and what we did all evening, we were playing video clips from our batizado and put cd on repeat mode. OMG!lol
okay, we were not like staring at the screen all the time, but just the fact that we actually spent 80% of our time talking about capoeira, sometimes scares me!

are my lattest posts really boring for the people that don't do capoeira? i guess so. but then again, it's my blog, so i get to write anything I want, right!?

seriously, i could refresh it with some other news from my so called social life..if there is any left beside capoeira life!haha!
i am just healing my yesterdays hangover and i was watching this movie that was talking about life and love and the meanning of fulfilled life..what does it mean. nothing big actually. it's wierd to say, that fulfilled life is nothing big, but you can look at it this way too. it's life, nothing else.
maybe hangovers are not the best moments to be writting abut this stuff, but even these are a part of life. they're not really fulfilling, but as i've come to this lots of times in my life, if there wouldn't be bad moments in our lives, than we would not appreciate the good ones either. there is always ying and yang, black or white, good and bad marching side by side. that how it is.

and there is my relationship with Jure. it's something i have never experienced before. well, it's like totally different from what i had with S, but i'm not mourning anymore for the lost and gone. i believe S was the thing that you experience once or twice in your life, but it doesn't last. you never forget it, but it can't last. and with jure on the other hand is the thing that can last. i'm not in love, but i didn't expect me to be. being in love with S fulfilled me, and i am now almost in harmony with my innerself i could say. i don't know if this is the best way to put it, but let it be.

watching this movie today was the first time after we broke up with S, that i missed being in love. it was a wierd feeling, and i didn't like it at all. cause until now i was kind of okay and satysfied, and in a certain moment i felt this anoying feeling of needing something, missing something. and i'll definetly try to avoid it in the future you can be sure of that. as i've learned in my life is that happiness is a state of mind and nobody else but me is responsible for my own happiness.

Monday, 23 June 2008

o que mim falta?

it's getting hot outside. i mean it's normal and everything, it's just that with this heat it's unbearable to live in the city. it's not even july yet and i'm starting to get unpatient..i miss Rab. where is that 4th of august..pff!

we started to have trainnings in Tivoli. i mean not oficially, but during the weekend we get together with capoeristas and train. it funny, cause Batata is now acting different since i have higher graduation than him now. but i don't feel it anyway, i still respect him. yesterday in Tivoli he was leading the trainning and i was admiring him, how much he knows. it made me think, how many things are there that i have to learn. and i realised that graduation of your belt certainly doesn't reflect your knowledge.

and i was observing others during the trainning. it was so nice to see, how we respect each other. and if Batata is leading the excercise, then we all have to listen and follow. and that's the way it should be. and i'm scared if one day i'll have to be the one doing that. cause i'm not feeling as i'm capable of doing that. i mean it's different to work with children as i'm used to that.

and there was a special moment when i was doing some excercise with one of the capoeristas. we didn't talk, but i was feeling so happy and there was this really nice energy between us. capoeira is indeed non-verbal comunication between two people. imagine how strong is that. much more, than some loud words that can be easily lost in the wind.

estou feliz, nada mim falta.

Wednesday, 18 June 2008

all the stuff and of course batizado

so, we kinda closed the year around with capoeira. i said kind of..because it never ends of course. there were first years of capoeira in slovenija where e finished our trainnings after batizado and all fell asleep during the summer. it was hard coming back believe me. but we're getting better and better and we have better organisation, more enthusiasm and more energy to do capoeira from dusk till dawn as to speak. batizado passed. some people are dissapointed, some are are my feelings? well, i was thinking, why i don't feel that enthusiasm as i used to. but then i realised it doesn't matter, i had a great time even though for me it didn't seem as batizado, at least not as my first one. but then again, how could it feel. i guess also my involvement in capoeira world has a lot to do with it. i live inside this society for 4 years already and in the last year with a really strong attachement. i wonder how professor must feel about batizado, for him it must be even harder than for the ones that are to be baptised. but nevertheless, it was greeeeat! as i said yesterday when we were talking about our impressions about the event...i enjoy the most the social side of these kind of events. driving in the same car for 3 days, getting to know each other, sleeping in the same room, taking breakfast together, trainning together, having great time in general..all this makes me feel so happy, because around me there are magnificent people that always put a smile on my face. and now, that it's over... well, for us it began...if it ever ended...imagine roda..a can it just goes on, and on, and on, and on...into forever.