Sunday, 22 April 2012

routine vs. change

fresh starts with old things and people, that's what i call ultimate recycling. been a while since i've written any thing here, but i've been quite busy with my other stuff. but then i've asked myself what are you doing, for who, is it worth it..where are you? i have a slight feeling i might have forgotten about myself for a moment. so today, on this quiet sunday morning i have clicked here to my good old blog, the first of many i have and i am dedicating myself 5 minutes of attention.

so many things are happening i don't even keep up with them, but yet it seems sometimes i don't really move anywhere. i keep looping in the same round. same people, same things, same thoughts...for a moment there i would be happy for something to change. change. change. change. 
can you believe that someone can be bored in the middle of the war going on? yeah well, that's me. bored in a way that i am really sick and tired of same old, same old challenges i have to master. because when i stick to one for too long, i simply don't find the thrills anymore.

i am a funny human actually. it is in my character to have to have things under control and in place, but on the other side i get so bored by routine. some people can simply go on an on with the same paths, same people, same jobs. me? no way! i know it's contradictory, but that is how i feel. 

another thing is about me and people in my life. the close ones. the closest ones. being in a relationship now it was a storm and a half when he came into my life. he came slowly and rather smoothly, but yet i was terrified of what will happen, and how will his presence change my ways. because i love my ways. and i am so greateful for his patience, for his understanding, and i admire him so much for he has changed so much. and i know he is changing for me too. because he loves me. and that's what amazases me the most. actions of devotion and love. he is in a way my teacher. because he teaches me how to overcome my ego. i see now how different it is to read about something and think you understand, and how that differs from actions and situations in which you have to put all that into real life. a big challenge for me. 

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