my first, my last...day

i have three things that can describe my december...presents, COLD and alcohol. not really promising huh? but you know, you always comfort yurself it will get better in the next year.. hehehe! wel, i'm not saying it's bad, it's just that i realised how all this euphoric karma all around gets you in the flow and suddenly you find yourself kinda lost one morning when you wake up. but hey, i guess we need to losen up a little once in a while.

so lets see the most important things that happened this year. hmm, it is kinda hard to sum it up..i don't even remember everything that happened but seemed very important at the time. it's because we live here and now and the things that already passed are losing their importancy, i guess. for me i guess one of the most important things is Aleš coming into my life. i was just thinking beofore that i wished for him years ago, and now he's here. i actually was thinking about him, i just didn't know it was him then. and here he is, teaching me things everyday even if he isn't aware of it. i think i'm becoming different or at least trying to, cause i admire some of his virtues that i am also longing to have. not to become the same as him, but cause i've always wanted to change some things but couldn't. he is my teacher, my friend and my lover.

the next thing is my diploma. slowly coming to the end of it. not the biggest nightmare anymore. kinda strange though, cause for two years it was like a heavy cloud over my shoulders. but we survived that too.

and my sister moved away. my roommate since she was born. i still can't remove her things from the room, cause it feels strange if she ever comes for a visit and not having anything of hers in the room. but i'm happy for her. cause i know how hard it is to stay at home.

there is also my capoeira. i can't even believe it sometimes how it gets to me. not just capoeira itself, but especially the people there. and my role inside the group is more often a burden than a pleasure. that is definetly one of the things i will have to handle.

but on the end i always say to myself...it is not the new year that will bring me changes, cause it is always ME that has to act. so no matter new year or middle of august, it is when you move from talking to action when things begin to change.