.... i already wrote half of the post, but then i deleted it. it was about my health and my bad juju. and then i decided to erase it, cause i don't like to see, hear or even smell bad energy around me. okay, i know we should not live in denial, but thinking about it all the time won't make it better either.
so i decided it's time to take action...and do something about it. what? i still don't know, but i'll start by cleanning my room...and i mean cleanning in several ways, to get rid of all the unnecesary stuff that's lying around and oppening channels of good energy to start flowing again.
let's jam....starting from zero
i was really proud of myself today. there had been several situations that demanded my reaction and i handled them quite good i'd say. the thing is that i'm trying to practice a new phylosophy in my life, new approach more oppened and freeing as to say. and definetly sticking up for myself what i often lack of. i am content with my progress and with some of the conclusions that i came up with today.
1. i am emotionaly quite rehabilitated from my bad experience in the past (and what i learned in theory, i now use in practice)
2. i see progress in saying what i think
3. i am on a good way to analysing my emotions and properly handling them.
it was a hard day, but it ended to be the first day of the rest of my life which i'm looking forward to.
i'm jammin' ... i live in a capsule of my own reality. here i feel safe and i can express myself. i don't know if i conciously try to stay here and refuse to accept the common reality as my own but i don't see why should i enter in a world i don't wanna accept. i mean, i do know what is going on around me, i understand how things flow and that not everything is nice and comfortable, but does that oblige me to accept that rules and live by them. i think not!
i am hurt and disapointed lots and lots of times due to this naive and innocent world of mine, but better to crush a couple of times than to lose yourself and surrender into some wierd, unexplainable and cruel world. my dad is always giving me advice and challenging me to face unpleasant situations saying that this is how i shall learn to confront the world out there. i understand him in a way, but i also want to stay true to myself, my ideas.
well, that's what i wanted to say, i'm happy where i am.
