how empty do we feel once we finish doing something that was hanging upon us for long time. not completed, but empty. no matter the nature of the subject that was there. it's because it was always somewhere there, in the darkest corner of our head...always ticking, scratching, itching...and suddenly it's gone.
my life is changing so much. i am so happy. and so calm. and so excited. and worried also. because i just can not believe that all this great things are really here around me, happening to me, to me you know... the funny, strange, special me. i know i'm an expert in idealising people and situations...but it's different now. cause it's kina real..and i'm aware it's not hundred percent perfect, cause it can't be... but the general picture is! the details are always little twisted, but the general picture is a masterpiece...a masterpiece of the life i'm creating everyday with my own hands and head!
i've read and article about stress this morning, it was kinda educating, meanning that it explained and gave me new point of view of the word stress. my job is very stressful. and as i've read this article the most important thing is that stress depends on the point of view you're taking. it can also be stress with positive effects.
but when you are in a situation that you find stressful, it is hard to remember and practice what you read. at least i've come to this point in my life. so i took 10 minutes of my time to write this post and try to figure out what is really the situation about, and can it be turned into a positive one. let's say it can...
dear reader...if you are actually digesting my wierd posts, i would like to remind you, that you probably can find something better to do. but if you insist, i hope you gain at least a tiny glimpse of knowledge, pleasure, joy, fun or anything else worth remembering from my posts. it's funny though, cause i don't actually know who am i writting this blog for. is it for myself, as i substituted my very personal diary with publishing online, or is it for some unknown reader out there, that i want to adress. i guess it's for the both, as i've always been sort of extroverted. and also because of the nature of today's lifestyle. i don't find it so wierd if i publish my thoughts here, although it is so very personal sometimes that even my closest friends don't know about. but i guess it's easier sometimes to just send a paragraph of your deepest thoughts out to the unknown world as to methaporically get rid of them. you know what i mean..?...
anyways, today's message was nothing special, i'm just enjoying the late night hours which i haven't done for some time now, since i started to work regularly. the sweet essence of the night's silence and peace.....how beautiful.
