feijoada da minha vida

tou com saudade no meu coraçăo...

yeah i know i said i'm getting better, but life always has hundreds of surprises prepared for me. and one of them i also making me feel as if i'm getting crazy! my mind is so much preoccupied with only one thought which i can not get out of my head. i hate it! i know, i know.. my attitude towards it is in total contrast with what i've been thought in all the books and movies about creating your own life...but it's damn hard! yeah sure, nobody said it was gonna be easy, but i didn't expect it to be SO hard! what the f*** is happening to me!? i finally wanna be able to function normally without having these obsessions inside my mind. but for now the most i can do is shut my mind for maximum of couple of moments and then it comes back.
i was seriously considering going to specialist of somekind to help me, cause it's killing me this kind of life! it's eating me from the inside...
but hey, everybody says it's gonna pass...and everybody is NOT where i am and sometimes i just don't believe them, cause it hurts so much!