change is good.

it is simply not enough, all that i do. still not enough to make me feel quiet. i'm restless. i'm like a shark that needs to move, or else it dies. i need new ideas, i need new fresh wind inside my lungs. every moment, time and time again....restless is my soul. i'm afraid of this power inside me. i'm afraid something might happen, that i really, really want. what would my life be, if i had it all. i feel the glimpse of that freedom and i'm scared for where it might take me. and it always comes to me every once in a while, when i spend a couple of days at home. usualy it is due to illness. and people say to me, get rest, you work too much, you have too many things in your life. reduce your life to less things and take care of your health. really?? reduce my life to work and my house? you're kidding me? please tell me, that you don't really mean that. with all this energy that starts to boost inside of me i should quietly ignore it and sit still in my office!? is that how it works?
and my illness..is it really due to my overcrowded schedule? or is it because the schedule is set on wrong basis? maybe i just need to change something, not reduce, but change? change is good right? change is good. it gives me hope. so much hope and so much new energy. i want to change.