i'm not sure what my post is going to be about. but i felt the urge to say something, not just because i haven't done so in a quite some time now, but also because i want to move forward and somehow i've always done it with the help of writting my thoughts down on a paper or a blank page on the computer. anyways i've read that e-paper is coming and it's gona be cheaper than oldschool paper so i guess in two years or so i'll be literally able to say that i'm writting my thoughts down on the computer, cause at the moment i'm not writting but typing them. so...what is on my mind you wanna know? well, if you don't i certainly do. many things, many things. yesterday my father asked me a simple question. he asked me what i wanna do in my life and that everyone has a mission, a purpose..what is mine. he tried to convince me that everyone's purpose should be to make a big family, but i didn't agree. but than i started to think WHAT is my purpose then, what i wanna do in my life for real? i've heard so many stories from people i know, from people i don't know about how a person is happy if his job is something that he loves to do. and here i kind of stopped. because i don't think that all...i mean i love my job, i wouldn't change it but i somehow feel that maybe this is something i don't want to do my whole life. this may sound little strange as i've already had some friends looking at me wierd, but i want to help people find themselves, i want to tell them life is the only thing they've got and they have to live it here and now. i don't know what qualifies a person to give advice about that sort of stuff, but i think if i with my positive energy feel that i have something to give to others and i want to give it..that is a great start and i'm fully qualified to act. i'm usually not a person that goes around giving 'smart' advices to people if they don't ask me for it, but i know a lot of people likes to be around me, cause i always try to be positive and even when i'm not, i'm aware that being depressed and without energy is not exactly something to hold on to, but it's better to try to solve the situation and get out of it as soon as possible.
so, i'm receving these emails from various people that succeded in their life by living according to certain methods, ideas, philosophy. but they all come together at one point...your thoughts are what you are, consequently if you think bad, pesimistic and sad thoughts that is how you are projected on the outside and of course on the contrary nice, optimistic and happy thoughts result positive people. of course it is impossible always to be high on life as i say, but the important part is to recognize your true self and expand it to the fullest potential possible.
so, these are my dreams..and dreams are there to be dreamt and to sometimes come true. but it's better to have a dream that maybe doesn't come true than to not have anything to dream about.
To experience love, we must go inside. When you experience real love you get into a state which is beyond words. You are filled with a joy that goes beyond all emotions. True love is the love of the inner Self. - Swami Muktananda
i'm back from London. and the first thing that i realised whilst my journey is that i need sun and sea and mediterrain. it's where i wanna go and where i feel the best. i got this crazy idea in my head that i will buy a small land somewhere down there by the seaside and maybe one day build a mini wekend house. that would be really great! and the summer is coming, i'm feeling it now that i'm back, because there in London the weather is nothing but pleasant i must say. i guess it's just not my thing. i was always more of a sunny and warm person.pasta, mare, sole...to je to! =)
as every year for the past few years, i'm travelling again. it's a thing that i must do at least once per year. and it doesn't matter how far it is, as long as it's over the borders of my country. not that i don't like my country.. i love it! but we have to migrate in order to grow, to develop, see the world. i need it and i'm happy that i can afford it, so far so good. this time i'm of to London. i know, i know... how come i've never been there? well, i haven't..i've had other interests, but this time, Bojana is living there so i have the perfect chance to visit her and Jure and experience London for 10 days. and this time i'm travelling with Aleš. that's gonna be an interesting experience. i've never traveled with a boyfriend before, only my friends. and i think it's great that we're going together, cause i kind of got used to having him around and i wanna see if being together 24/7 for 10 days will bring us a new dimension in our relationship.just a couple of moments ago i had an intersting conversation with my dad. i'm not sure, but it was one of our best talks in years. we actually did not end arguing and screaming over each other. i'm still in shock!=)anyways, i have some packing to do...tata!
năo sei porque, mas cada vez que eu me ouço lingua portuguesa ou um som brasileiro...mim faz feliz ou melhore pelo menos. pode ser que o vibraçăo do essa lingua ou esse povo ta magica...
tou sentido muito mal por caso da minha costa. mim ta doendo tanto e eu năo posso fazer nada. nem dormir, sentar, andar...se eu năo uso medicina é todo sem nenhum efeito. so musica brasileira ta mim melhorando o minha situaçăo.
i know i should try to ignore the pain and think happy thoughts, but with all this pain it's hard. it's bringging me down. i hope it gets better soon, cause we're supossed to have roda for Simon's birthday party! viva a musica!
that's the way i like it...all sunny and positive! and with one eye i'm always searching what might be wrong with this picture, cause it can't be all that perfect right..there must be a system error somewhere, we just didn't find it yet ;) ehehe!but despite all this suspicion that's the way it should be and the way i deserve it. and i don't wanna wait in vein for my life...i wanna live it.
how empty do we feel once we finish doing something that was hanging upon us for long time. not completed, but empty. no matter the nature of the subject that was there. it's because it was always somewhere there, in the darkest corner of our head...always ticking, scratching, itching...and suddenly it's gone.
my life is changing so much. i am so happy. and so calm. and so excited. and worried also. because i just can not believe that all this great things are really here around me, happening to me, to me you know... the funny, strange, special me. i know i'm an expert in idealising people and situations...but it's different now. cause it's kina real..and i'm aware it's not hundred percent perfect, cause it can't be... but the general picture is! the details are always little twisted, but the general picture is a masterpiece...a masterpiece of the life i'm creating everyday with my own hands and head!
