Monday 7 July 2008

saudade năo é hóje...

i have a secret. it's almost too big to display it here so i'll rather keep it for myself for a while i think. it's a nice secret, a sweet one, one that i haven't had for quite some time now. and i'm jealous of sharing it now.

we were in milano this weekend, it was a capoeira thing of course. and it was one of my hardest weekends ever... i don't think i was ever so exhausted, mentally and physicaly. jerneja actually congratulated me for being in such a mood, meanning noone is used to me being like that.

i'm still thinking about it, why was i like that anyway. i have had many sleepless nights with school or a job next day...but i don't remember having such struggles inside me.
i guess a big part of it was the contribution of me being the only portuguese speaking slovene and i automatically was translating every word. and not just on trainnings, but then also everytime someone wanted to speak to Alegria, or Alegria talking to any of them. i was in constant contact with humans... i was outrageously nervous!! i remember craving for a hug from someone, saying it's okay just calm down.
my feelings about this event are so mixed i can't decide. i have had a good time, and i have had bad times, i have had revelations and i have had hardest moments of anger and most beautiful moments of happiness and love...all together...wierd sensation indeed. i guess i liked it all, exactly because of that... the rainbow of feelings that i had to face.

saudade năo é hóje,
saudade năo é agora,
sauade é amanha,
quando meu mestre foi se embora....

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