chidren, marriage and other wierd stuff

so i guess we are in those years when our friendz start to get married and have children! i'm scared... and it's not because it means we're getting older, but because i personally have no inner desire to start thinking about those things and it scares me that the surroundings will make me do it. i still feel like a teenager. and it's not that i'm not ready to take responsibility for something like a marriage or a child, but i think it's certainly not the time yet. but then again, our lives are different. anyways, i was thinking..i ike anja...she's my kind of girl...i think my life would look like her's when i start living with a guy. no desire to marry or to have kids...as if i don't have other things that preocupy my mind, who needs marriage and annoying little creature running around the house. hehe...i know some of you may disagree now, but hey, that's my current opinion, i never said i will not change my mind. since my life is full of situations that i was always saying, will never happen to me. if i learned one thing in life is that you should never say never! because you never know...heheh!


anyways, alenka is pregnant for about three months. when i found out she is, i was happy for her and all..of course, but on the other side really surprised. cause she was always on my side of he world. but as i said..you never know what life brings you. can you imagine that after that, i was dreaming about ME being pregnant and it was really scary. and even in my dreams i didn't want to be pregnant. i know a lot of you probably don't understand me, but i am scared the hell out of pregnancy. i can't imagine something growing inside of me, moving all over my belly and kicking. it is disgusting. i'm sorry, i can't help it.
and the after i kinda accept that alenka is having a child, Alja invites me to her last single party! as if i didn't have enough of surprises! ehehe so, we had a party, a damn good one! i think she really enjoyed it, and so did we. we made her do really stupid and funny stuff. but i can't tell, cause men are not supossed to know about what is going on at these parties! ;) so, farewell Alja...i wish you a great marriage and i wish it would last till the rest of your life..for real! i'm so happy for you, if you're happy for you! so on the end i hope everybody will be happy and everything will turn out the way it should!
as for me..i couldn't be happier as i already am with my Aleš. he's the sweetest man i've ever had. and i'm not saying this because we are currently together, but because i really mean it. things are the way they should be and they function and there's no stress or anything, it's just pure co-existence, enjoinment of each others presence, the touch, the smell and the feelings that burst out when we're around one another. so i let the thing be as they are and follow them as they go...or to make it simple... i just flow, i don't push.