the way, my way

i'm sitting here in my little safe bee hive i now call home. all is quiet and the scent of vannila is spreading through my nostrils. today i am sad. but i think i did the bravest thing. i will probably regret it couple of times, before my heart calms down and start to beat on his own, but i had to do it for the sake of myself and selfrespect. so, i'm on my own again. scared as hell...but determined to survive in this jungle.
past month i was playing a lot of loud music while staying home alone. it is so true when people say that chaos and loud voices around us, distract us from hearing what is going on inside us. and when the music stops and you hear your heart beat...you just wish you weren't there. but the thing is, that you can't escape anywhere...cause it's you that's bleeding.

and now after all this december craziness, i am ready to hear the silence and listen to what it has to say to me. i am ready to find my way back to me.