mind game

i'm playing this game lately. well, it's not really a game, it's a trainning. i'm trainning myself to be honest with myself and the world. and it is so good. everytimei have to do something or say something i quickly examine my inside and how i truly feel about the situation and then try to act upon that feeling. it is not easy all of the time, because we are used to NOT say or act the way we want, but what we think others want from us. it is because we were raised to feed on approval of others. to always think what others might think about this and that. i thought i am not one of those people, but i see now that many times i kinda modify my real wish and the expectation from the outside and mix it together so that the result is as pleasing for both sides as possible. i was surprised over that fact. but now by observing my actions i am consciously trying to always be true to myself. i believe it is not what everyone is capable of doing. but i am glad i am able to change. playing this new 'game' is making me feel so much better and so free i reccomend it to everyone!;)