carpe momentum, carpe diem, carpe anno

today is the first day of the rest of my life :) don't you just love this sentence. recently i was often thinking about the saying that goes CARPE DIEM... and by my surprise i've come to the conclusion that despite all the good and positve things we can find inside this saying, there is also the dark side. on the end you realise it's all about interpretation! of course!
let me explain how i see it... since i'm this typicall student that is supossed to graduate already a year ago, but still hasn't found her place under the academic golden sun, i am alays preocupied with my diploma. but the problem is that this is almost all to it..preocupation and no action! really stupid i know, don't need to hear it from you too. it's the forbbiden subject among my academic coleagues that are in the same position as me.
and so i'm living my fullfilled life, doing everything else but writting this huge sheet(shit) of paper. and i'm saying to myself, one day my dear, one day you will graduate for sure, at this moment(when i'm doing something completely different) just carpe momentum. and you see it's not productive. oh, i can sease the moment, i can sease the day i can even obviously sease a year...but there is still fact of reality..i'm still NOT graduating from landscape architecture in a while.
so my friends, help me out here..correct me if i'm wrong about carpe diem sentence...but it is not the most perfect sentence in the world. it is actually rather seductive. so on the end it is i think obvious that there is nothing left for me but to move my lazy brains and carpe diploma once and for all! right?!
why thank you for making me see clearly now... ;)

for today i'm done, but believe me i have more to say about this subject of diploma.

life's good, voda vre...

today's a good day, and i mean good when i say so! i'm full of energy and positive vibes, and alongside there comes of course some groovy, pussy house music and a cup of sweet coffee...with bunch of hot summer sun and voilá, there's a receipee for how to feel like me. but watch out if you try it, it might be too much for you, cause it's a really great feeling!

it's true, life will smile for you..if you let it....

foi na beira do mar

where am i...somewhere between wierd delirium of hottest summer sun at 4 o'clock, sad whores of my life and late trainnings on the lonely beach..just like the song is saying...

foi na beira do mar,
foi na beira do mar,
eu aprendi a jogar
capoeira de angola,
na beira do mar.

it wasn't the best day i've had here in Lopar, but it sure wasn't the worst. on the end it turned out kinda okay. i am now reading this best seller from Gabriel Garcia Marquez called The sad whores of my life. really kinda grotesque story but at the same time so gentle and sad. a 90 year old man falls in love with a virgin that he wishes for his birthday. and after spending one night with her, not having sex or anything, just sleeping in the same bed with her, and after that many nights forward, he falls in love with this girl. but the point is that she's always asleep when he comes to the whore house, because the landlady of the whore house always gives her calming tea, cause she's too afraid. so he is actually madly in love with a girl he doesn't even know for real. so what's the point of the story...is it about this poor mans life, or some wierd sad madness, or love or... fiction...is love a fiction?
obviously one doesn't need a real person to love, our imagination is endless and we can simply make up our mind of how we want the other person to be, or even how the person is, no matter the true facts. love is blind...exactly...
and that's exactly what i was thinking on my way back from trainning. every love goes, until it's blind...but true love starts when one opens his eyes and starts to see the true picture. and when the real side of the story starts to function, it means it will last. at least that's the way i see it.

anyways, the other thing i wanted to talk about today is my capoeira. of course, if it's not love it's capoeira...so i was feeling kinda sad and melanholic today and i knew that i simply have to go to train a bit. it always makes me feel better. and so it did this time. and whilst i was aproaching my beach where i train, i started to spontaneously sing the song foi na beira do mar (i went to the beach, to learn capoeira angola..) and a sly smile appeared on my face. it became obvious that there is no point in talking and spreading theories about capoeira, for the one that really feels capoeira everything comes by itself.
and the wind was blowing, the dawn started to fall down to earth...and i was streching and moving my body in most wierd ways for an ignorant observer. luckily this time, i had the pleasure of being alone there, not paying attention to anything or anyone but me and the sand between my toes, fingers and my hair. the wind was actually helping me with my balanca, when i was doing handstands it pushed me from behind so i hold still for a moment. a short one, but to me it seemed like forever. and this kind of things make my capoeira stronger and better.
imagine next week, when my berimbau arrives!

love or how did i discover hot water

i know i'm supossed to be on vacations, avoiding all this internet s***, but there are really no rules on how vacations should be spend, and if i find certain joy in writing my thoughts down, and if it's on internet..why shouldn't i. i've always been kinda rebelious, so here i am in this wilderness almost in the middle of nowhere with my laptop, writing my blog in this late afternoon.
sun is slowly getting down, the heat is becoming bareable so i can actually breathe normaly, water is my main ingredient that floats down my throat, and i can't think of anything else but how much i wanna be with him. i'm here for 2 days now and i already (or still) miss him.
thanks god for modern technology so that i can at least hear his voice on skype. yesterday we had really nice conversation, i feel that i can talk to him about anything, and tell him just about anything that comes to my mind. i don't know if it's just me that changed since my last relationship, but i'm sure it's also him that makes me feel this way. yesterday before i feel asleep i was thinking about all of this and i kinda realised that what i feel now is this pure essence of love. i think...what else could make me feel so euphoric and calm at the same time, and make me wanna spend all my time with him and tell him about every little and stupid thing that happens to me.
but here i am, spreading all this 'smart' theories about what i feel...when they have been already told. an i'll tell you another theory, always give a tittle of the post on the end cause you never know what sh** will come out on the end... =)

maria estava chorando,
porque seu amor foi embora,
maria estava chorando,
porque seu amor foi embora,
foi la pra beira do cais,
jogar capoeira de angola...

only that this time it's the opposite... he stayed and i went to the beira do cais ;)