others and me

some things are changing.. am i scared.. sure, why shouldn't i be. but then again, i do not let fear over rule other pleasant things. i started to look for an appartment, went to see two of them on thursday, liked one, hated the other ... but still no sign of any serious move. so i'm still sitting in the safe arms of my own room dreaming of my little own place that i would fill with our energy and then we would live there happilly ever after. it takes time, don't rush.. that's what alenka is saying.. i'm so impatient. but she's in fact the only one that believes in me. others around me just keep saying it's hard and that i won't make it and lots of other stuff that make me doubt, scare me...but then again, i think it's their own fears and doubts that they put on me... cause they don't have the balls to do it. i know a woman, that simply had to move away from home so she took a credit on an appartment and she took two jobs, she was like totally working 24/7 and i believe she will make it. i remember her often, although we don't have any contacts anymore.
so i think i can make it too.
and another thing happened on thursday that made me really happy . after one year and a half we are dating i finally was invited to his home. i guess he felt guilty cause we were supossed to meet in the afternoon so he called me and said if i wanna come to stay over night. OF COURSE i wanna!! =) so i went to Trebnje and we spent the night together. did i already tell you i love him...