i used to think adult world is a well organised place, and everything stands on its place as it was planned.
but the more i observe, the more i'm realising that it is ineed not so. i have clear evidence everywhere i go. rarely anything stands as it should, and if it does, they call it success. so, now do you get my point?
we all have ideas, since our childhood we dream bout this, about that...but by growing older we do not get the default guarantee that our ideas are going to be realised. grownups just think that cause they feel more important, but it's not true. simple as that!
my life is sort of a mess rigt now, but not in a bad way, i call it a mess, cause i have so many ideas and so much energy, but can not organise all of the stuff for all of them to function. the problem here is, that because of that the progress is slow. and i hate slow progress when i'm in the change mode =) i want things to change, to move on...
stop that train, I'm leavin...
i'm in post party moral dilema.
or maybe not.what is post party moral dilema anyway? there was once said after every orgasm there is post orgasmic emptiness...i guess this is what it appears to be my current condition. but luckily it only last for a little while, tomorrow i'll be fine, already taking over the world with charged batteries of my sweet innocent life =)
something happened to me yesterday, i still can not define what, but i sense little tinny moments of what it appears to be a great emotional revelation. I AM ME, I AM FREE!!
i'm meditating..in portuguese.this language makes me raise my heartbeat. so i listen to the music and i'm learning the lyrics, just so, to get high on the vibrations of the language. some lyrics are funny and ridiculous as in any language, but portuguese just makes them seem so positive and energetic. nevertheless it's good also for my communication with professor of capoeira. so, as we say in slovenia...i kill two flies at once =)and i'm back on track with my diploma. i had a certain fall off, as for example in electricity when you can lose it for a while..heheh! i lost it for a while.i'm worried about my dying plants. every morning when i wake up i stare at them, watch them getting all dry. and i know it's not because i don't take good care of them, but because of this fucked up microclimate in our house. aaarhg, i can't wait for spring to come, i've had it with winter!meu sonho é de voçe,desejo muito te ver,eu só queria entender,se a quele beijo valeu,confio em meu coraçăo,quero viver com emoçăo,sem medo de te perde,poder ficar com voçe...quando sonhos bons,tantas noites lindas,mim guardei só mente pra voçe...
i simply can not believe my amount of energy i'm holding these last few days..it's incredible. i mean i do get tired and all, but just can't hold still, even if my eyes are closing. it's great to be alive. could be that all those coffees and redbulls i drink during the day and night jobs are playing with my metabolism snd making it go wild...but whatever is doing this to my body and my mind..i appreciate it! =))) i am an addict...i have to say that i love my new job. it doesn't matter what you do,but where and with who you do it i realized. i mean, there are days when i'm really not doing anything but some paper stuff in the office, but yet i feel fine. but today was even better, i got to make this new internet site my cousin is gonna have for his company. i felt great, making something new and especially cause i've always wanted to make internet sites. i love it! =)and today's trainning was also great...after two hours of hard trainning i s still full of energy, dnacing samba all over the gym. people were just laughing, i guess now the already know me, and who could blame them for laughing at this totally crazy brasil obsessed chick that's always smilling!? =)ah well my friends la vida esta boazinhaaaaa!!! life is great, la vita e bella!življenje je lepo, če ga živiš..tako kot ponuja se samo in ne da ti ga spremeniš...and tomorrow i'm going to dance...yeah! hadn't been on a party for days...lol! no seriously, lately i'm always working in K4 so tomorrow's time to partyyyyyy! =) don't ask me, how am i going to work next day and train capoeira...but i know i'll do just FINE! as my dear friend from Germany is always saying =)so, this is it for this nights blog... nothing deep as usual..well, some might find this refreshing...but yet i think i said enough. feel the vibe!
i was always writting a diary at least since i was in primary school... and it's a great thing, the diary. it makes you rewiew your life. sure you always have memories, but they can be forgotten or selected in your mind. now i don't wrie it anymore, i started to project my mind to this blog posts...as far as i'm concerned it suits me, and nobody complained over them. of course dairy is more intimate, but since i think i have a pretty much good writting talent, i can write my public blog in such a manner that it can say intimate things that sometimes only i understand. and for others they can mean nothing. anyways...i was reading my diary of one year back. and remembering stuff about S, rewiewing my memories, seeing things from different corner. it's all good now. i'm me and i am free. learned some stuff about life and relationships. don't complicate things, just flow i say.
i feel incredibly FINE =)
the most funny things just happened. well, it may not seem funny to someone reading this, but i was laughing my ass off when it happened. i was going through my drawers, looking for something particular, but then you know how it is, when you always end up finding all those stuff you were looking for and couldn't find them for months. but that's not the funny part...when i was discovering all kool stuff i own, i came across my condom bag..lol, i know it sounds wierd, anyways i keep some condoms there and since i had a serious boyfriend we had not been using condoms..(i know, i know so much about safe sex! =) and then i was checking the validation date of condoms..and discovered that i have exactly 1 condom that is still valid and other 15 i might as well throw a balloon party with! loool =)and the moral of this post: have regular sex, cause your condoms may expire =)do you think this blog is too wierd to be published? i guess i don't..but the mentality of masses makes me wonder.... wo- wo- wo- wonderrr...=)
