there is no such thing as coincidence

do not dwell on your past for it is a meere illusion. i am laughing at all these spiritual saying because they are simply too simple for me to get them. i am happy. i am happy, because i've already have had this glimpses of concious being and i know that it is not impossible to get there again. but i am observing what is going on with me inside and i find it so interesting, because i'm almost as a perfect learning example of all that which i am reading about. i know now, that some of the things that happened in the past if they happened to me now, i would probably try to handle and react to them differently and that i think is a progress. but thinking about it, i had to go through all that for reaching the point i am at now. otherwise i would probably not understand.

these past few days when Patri was here, were so fulfilling. i have never imagined that we have both grown so much and in the same time reached the same state of conciousness. it was truly an overwhelming experience and i feel even more connected with her now. but the other side of this time that i spent with her was that, when she was gone i realised that there are so many people around me, that don't know that side of me. i know it is my fault i guess, because i kinda judge people in sense that i decide whether they are open enough to be able to accept all that i have learned about our conciousness and our ego and everything else. and if i think they are not, i simply don't talk about it with them. i guess that's also okay in a way. because everybody has to personally grow and the transformation starts when one is ready. as it started for me. but the thing is that it's so stupid, that for many of us it has to be something really hard and painfull to wake you up and make you think about all his. well, now i know that pain is mostly our unconcious state and the painfull it is, more unconcious you are about life. and by knowing that, you also know that it is only you that can change that if you want of course. and i surely know i want to get rid of it.

i fucking love my life!!!