life VS. ego

i already knew that my mind is sometimes possesed by something rather than myself, but i had no idea of whatsoever that it was as deep as this. i am in the process of unfolding who i really am, what kind of things makes me, me. what defines me as myself, and what is only a product of some outter counterpart. there are too many books and experts out there that one could digest. but i think that what we need comes to our path. and i've come to posses a book of Eckhart Tolle called New earth. it is for me one of the books that you could say...KICKED MY ASS! i am still reading and digesting it, and it will probably take me ages to really digest it in the true meanning as understand everything that has to offer. but even now, it's giving me so much.
it talks about EGO. the voice in your head. you know, that little tiny, annoying voice that always occupies your mind. well, you know what...first thing that i've learned rom the book..we are nOT our EGO. i know, strange isn't it!? then who are we? who am I? what am I? i've asked all this questions, but then i just stopped asking and just started reading.
We are. that's it! nothing is good or bad, or nice, or evil or anything...everything is, and all those other adjectives are plain inventions of our ego. because our ego needs to be defined, needs to be appreciated,needs to be loved, needs to be praised and sometimes it even needs to be hurt..because it makes him alive. without outter impulses it does not exists and therefore it dies. but ego is strong, it's tough and it is not easily beaten. so if we want to understand what it is doing to us, we have to get out of our head. we have to become the listener, the observer and so we step onto another dimension of existence. and that's the whole point. understanding the boreder between ego and our true nature which is just Being, existing. and what helps us here is us trying to exist in the present moment. because that is all there is. our ego is bulit up on past experiences, but they do not exist anymore. memories are meere illusions and feelings that come with them are what distracts us from being right here, right now and just enjoying life. past experiences are only of use, when we learn something from them and afterwards let them go. when ego gets in, it wants to hold on to those memories and past experiences, because they define him. but our true existence needs not be defined, therefore it just is. this simplicity which is too complex for our corrupted mind.


p.s. to be continued...