my way

they say that we must first try to understand who we are not, because it's easier to realise then who we ARE. but saying what i'm not, doesn't necesarily means it's really who i am..because it can also be that i don't want to be all that, but i really am. or by saying what i'm not i already define and abolish that what i'm not? hmm, i don't know...is this my ego again?
i'm playing this funny game inside my head lately...it's called recognise the ego and abolish it! hahaha..seriously, what's going on inside my head is a crazy ride with loads of blind passengers! but i manage somehow to overcome myself and on the end it's a win-win situation...since darkness can never survive in presence of the light. that's a meere fact and it calms me down, because i know that light is within me and i'm the one that can decide whether it will shine or descend. i have the power within me.

Eckhart talks about pain body. that's what happened to me today.. it arose from within and i was fighting with it all day. i know, i know..i'm not supossed to fight it, but i don't know yet in practice how to embrace it and observe it, without identificating with it. i guess that was my today's lecture. and what i've learned from it? well, that light always prevails over darkness...because it happened on the end. and despite the fact that i can not sleep right now...i know myway is the right way, and it's the exact way i've chosen to walk on. no matter what happens to me...i will accept it and learn from it.