s.h.i.t.

i've had a long day with lots of heavy stuff on my mind. is it always like this.. the more you get into one thing, the more you start to learn things are not as they seem on the outside. there is always some shit going on in behind. i hate that, i don't want to be a part of anything like that, but i guess if you belong to a group of people you also have to accept it along you go. it makes me sad, that even in capoeira things can sometimes get rough, but as we are always saying, capoeira é vida. capoeira is life.. so how can it be without some ugly, unwanted stuff. things are changing and i try to be as neutral as possible. my situation is not easy at all, since i'm again the one that knows all the stories and everyone trusts me. in order to maintain this, i should stay out of it, but the fact that i belong to a group, it automatically makes me on one side, doesn't it? i don't know. i guess... but i'm not hunderd percent sure. do i have to fight with someone, that my friend is fighting with? that's not my phylosophy. people have different relationships to each other, so one can be mean to my friend, but totally nice to me for example. because we all give out different vibes. and some match, some don't. aarhg, this is too much for me today... need to get my head up straight and look positivelly forward. maybe i should read one of those manuals for life... ehehe! =)